In Madison, Alabama a 27 year old mother was married and divorced. This divorce led to a custody battle of her only child. All across the country there is an increase in child custody battles in which religion is the focus point and this has been going on for over 30 years. It is said that judges are just as likely to rule in favor of the more religiously engaged parents as to the other one.The problem that arises in the court room is that judges do not want to take on custody battles that have to do with religion who’s to say that Islam is better than Buddhism or Catholicism is better that Judaism. As a result more states have tried to keep custody disputes out of the court be mandating mediation. But religious disputes keep coming and are proven to be the most difficult to resolve.
Now, the 27 year old mothers daughter, Libby lived with her mother and visited her father every once and a while but in 2003 primary custody was given to her father after the two argued that the strict religious upbringing that Libby received at her mothers home, which involved modest dress, teachings about sin and salvation and limited exposure to popular culture, was damaging her.
We were easy targets because we were made to look like cultists,” Mrs. Snider, 27 said. “I think whether anyone admits it or not, almost all of the ruling had to do with religion. Nothing I had done was called into question except that.”They say that the amount of custody battles involving religion has increased because a generation ago, mothers almost always got custody and were responsible for nearly all aspects of children’s upbringing. But now both parents are involved in the raising of the children after a divorce which, leads to dispute.
Their have been many cases that have involved custody battles that have had some focal point on religion another one takes place in Oregon where a divorce took place and the custodial parents converted to Judaism and sought to have their 12 year old son convert and be circumscribed. In a case like this the court would rule that the custodial parent could decid if the child should be circumscribed but, the child was 12 the court had to change it’s ruling.
Aaliyah Edwards
Reena Sommer, Ph.D. Said:
on March 24, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Custody battles over religion are not likely to produce win-win results. I’ve seen a number in my practise and they are the most difficult to deal with.
The best that can be hoped for is exposing the child to each parents’ belief system without criticizing the other’s. Being critical of the other parent and/or his or her lifestyle often has a way of bacjfiring later on in life. By example, the child will come to learn that there are options available to him or her. When the child becomes an adult, the chose will be his or hers.
It goes without saying that parents who adhere to divergent religious backgrounds need to really consider what lies ahead for their themselves and their children.
hunterjumpers724 Said:
on March 24, 2008 at 10:38 pm
I had never thought about this being an actual problem. It must be hard for judges to make these kinds of decisions because the judge can’t determine on which religion the child should be. I think this is more of a problem than people think, because the divorce rate is very high lately, which means that all those poor kids will be left in the middle of that decision.
Reggie Said:
on March 26, 2008 at 12:41 pm
I have a friend who’s basically in this situation and I see how hard it is for her. I think it’s far better to have full-custody with visitation rights for the other parent. My friend has to go back and forth between houses every other week and both houses have considerably different religious beliefs.
I’d say it’s fine to have a child exposed to both parents beliefs, but to have them be primarily raised in one religion and then suddenly change her to another, as happened to the girl in the story, is probably far more confusing and damaging than had they just left her to be raised a bit more conservatively than normal. Tons of kids are raised in such homes and grow into well adjusted adults.
cathyissocoollike Said:
on March 26, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Yeah i think that that is completly ridiculous to make your child beleive in anything for any matter i beleive that you can teach a child about what they can and can’t beleive in but to force them upon choices is wrong. So what one parent is religeous and the other isn’t does it even matter!? Just becaus eone favors god a tiny bit more that means they deserve trhe child… how ridiculous.
Great article by the way! that was very interesting.
futsunushi Said:
on March 26, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Maybe the world would be better without religion. The only the problem with religion though is that some people take it way to seriously.